I love to hate my body!

I don’t want to live in this body!

This was my response to my therapist’s simple question “Can you accept your body as it is”

My body is a huge shame trigger for me. I love to hate my body!

Not surprising since most women are taught not to connect with their bodies & the expectations regarding what is a “normal female body” is unrealistic and not attainable.

I was shocked by my response. I immediately thought, but you preach Health At Every Size (HAES) & body acceptance/neutrality to your patients.

My mind then jumped to “that’s great for everyone else but not me!”

Why do I believe that, its because I’m subscribing to the weight stigma stereotype that living in a larger body means I’m lazy, awkward, sloppy, non-compliant, unintelligent, unsuccessful and lacking self-discipline and control.

All of which is not true about me but I fear others think this of me.

My negative attitude about my body has had many negative consequences. It has affected my mental health leading to anxiety, depression, low self confidence & disordered eating.